Here comes the new year. I thought 2022 was going to be my year. Then 2023 rolled around, and I thought, Okay, maybe this is it!? When that didn’t quite pan out, I convinced myself that 2024 had to be my year. Well, it’s safe to say that things haven’t exactly gone as I imagined—but you know what? I’m on the best track I’ve ever been. I can feel it in my bones.

Change is coming in 2025! ✨

Watch it happen with me while I keep a few key things in mind and in my heart:

1. Let Go and Let Them

Let people do whatever they want. Seriously. It’s the only way to see who they truly are. And when they show you, you get to decide whether they belong in your life. Let them. Really, just let them. Let them hang out with people you don’t like. Let them make choices you disagree with. Let them be themselves. And you, my dear, do the same for yourself. When you fully align with who you are, you’ll attract the right people—the ones who truly belong in your life. Trying to control others is exhausting. Which brings me to my next point:

2. Stop Trying to Control Everything

Most arguments and inner turmoil stem from this obsessive need to have everything go exactly how we want it. But let’s be real: only a tiny fraction of those things are even within your reach. People have their own ways of seeing and doing things, and that doesn’t always synchronize with your perspective. When you focus too much on what others are doing, criticizing their choices or lifestyles, you’re pouring your energy into something beyond your control. You can share your opinion, but that’s all you can do. The rest is up to them. And even if they take your advice, trust me, you haven’t really “won.” Pushed decisions often backfire.

3. Try to See Things Through Someone Else’s Lens

What you think is best for someone may not actually match with what they want. This was a hard lesson I learned in therapy. For years, I thought I knew what was best for the people in my life—friends, partners, everyone. But I was only seeing them through my own perspective. People come from different realities, shaped by their environments, cultures, and experiences. You can’t dictate how someone should live. You can offer your opinion and see if they take it to heart. If they don’t, that’s their choice. Therapy also taught me how much damage it can do when someone imposes their “best intentions” on you. I lost my sense of self because my mom always “knew what was best” for me. Now, at 34, I’m learning to reclaim my identity. You don’t know what’s best for anyone else—only yourself.

4. Be the Energy You Want to Attract

If you want kindness, patience, and respect, you’ve got to give those things, too. It’s not fair to act crazy and then expect others to treat you like royalty. People are mirrors. What you see in them often reflects something in yourself. Sometimes, the things you dislike most about others are the very things you struggle with. So, when someone annoys or triggers you, take a step back and ask, What is this teaching me about myself? Often, those “difficult” people are our greatest teachers. Even the jerks. Maybe especially the jerks. Also, live by this rule: Don’t do to others what you wouldn’t want done to you.

5. Let People Come and Go

People drift in and out of our lives. It’s just how it goes, even after many years. Let it happen. If your circle is smaller for now, that’s okay. Protecting your inner peace is what matters most. When you heal, you’ll either reconnect with people on the same level or find new ones who align with who you’ve become. This year, I lost a longtime friend. She began therapy and chose to blame me for the things I had confided to her about my troubled relationships and family. When I asked why she hadn’t told me how she felt sooner, she admitted she didn’t know how to communicate. Then she started giving me “friendship rules.” I’ve done enough work to know that true relationships—especially friendships—are unconditional. You don’t force people to do anything. So, I had to let her go. Right now, I don't have the capacity for anyone who blames me for being vulnerable.

6. Stop Arguing Your Truth

Not everyone will understand or agree with you, and that’s okay. You don’t have to explain yourself to anyone. It’s enough to know that you’re being true to yourself. I used to spend so much energy trying to get people to see my side, to like me, to understand where I was coming from. Not anymore. People are entitled to their own opinions, just like you are. Stop trying to prove your truth to everyone. It’s not your job.

7. Embrace Elegance and Grace

Turning 35 in February 2025 feels like stepping into my power. Adulthood is a privilege, and I want to honor it. I’m exploring more feminine, classy styles—what some might call “old money” vibes. It’s not about copying someone else but about discovering me in the process. Elegant clothes, refined hairstyles, thoughtful manners—I want to embody grace, not just in how I look but in how I carry myself.

8. Tackle Work Like a Challenge

If something’s hard, good. That’s where growth happens. After years of freelancing and procrastinating, I realized I need structure to thrive. So, I got a full-time job that pushes me daily, and I love it. Routine and discipline are non-negotiables for me. I’m leaning into challenges and making 2025 the year I level up my career.

9. Prioritize Independence

Co-dependency has been my Achilles’ heel, especially in relationships. I used to make boyfriends the center of my world—a huge mistake. Now, I’m building my world around myself. Traveling solo, pursuing my hobbies (jewelry-making, anyone?), and focusing on my own growth. The gym is, of course, part of the plan—just not until the second week of January when the crowd thins out. 😂 2025 is my year. Because no one else is going to make it happen for me. Expecting someone to complete you? That’s a recipe for disappointment. Make yourself whole.

10. Delving Deeper into Therapy

It’s hard to believe, but I’ve been in therapy for nearly two years now—wow, time really does fly. I’m so grateful for the opportunity to see my therapist every two weeks, and I can honestly say it’s one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. Since starting, I’ve been able to identify and work on so many issues I’ve carried with me for years, many stemming all the way back to childhood. Therapy has also helped me unpack more recent traumas, which, in reality, were just extensions of unresolved wounds from my past. I still get triggered often, and there’s so much more to work on. I know this is, in many ways, a lifelong journey, but I’m fully committed to making progress. In the coming years, I want to go even deeper—to understand the core reasons behind my behaviors, my patterns, and the parts of me that still feel stuck. I want to figure out what I can do to create a life that feels lighter, more fulfilling, and truly aligned with my happiness and purpose.

XO, Zuzi ❤️