Merry Christmas! I'm Choosing Myself This Year
Christmas has a way of slowing time down. 🎄 The lights are softer. The air feels heavier with memories. Home smells like something familiar you didn’t know you missed. This year, I’m really allowing myself to be here. Not rushing through the holidays, not performing joy, not escaping into distractions – just being present with the atmosphere, the quiet moments, the laughter, the pauses in between. Sitting with a cup of something warm. Listening. Breathing. Letting the moment land.
I know that for many of us, Christmas isn’t only cozy and magical. It can be heavy. Emotional. Triggering. Especially when family time becomes overwhelming and old patterns suddenly resurface – roles you thought you outgrew, expectations you never agreed to, emotions that don’t make sense but still hurt. If Christmas feels hard for you, I want you to know this: nothing is wrong with you.
From a psychological point of view, family gatherings often activate our nervous system. We don’t react as the adults we are today – we react as the children we once were. Your body remembers things your mind has already processed. That’s why you might feel irritated, sad, numb, angry, or just… off.
If you feel like crap around your family, here are a few gentle reminders and tools that actually help:
★ You are allowed to take breaks.
Step outside. Go to the bathroom. Take a walk. Regulate your nervous system before explaining yourself to anyone.
★ Silence is not rude. Protecting your energy is not selfish.
“This is triggering me.”
“This feels overwhelming.”
Naming reduces shame and gives you back control.
★ You don’t need to heal your family, fix the past, or show up perfectly. Just being there is enough.
If you need to leave earlier, go to another room, or say no – that is self-respect, not failure.
★ But the most special part is something quiet and internal.
The soft parts. The strong parts. The messy, emotional, intuitive, sensitive, wild, calm sides.
I’m no longer fighting who I am.
And loving myself feels… peaceful. Solid. Real.
★ However it looks for you – let it be yours. 🎄✨
✨ You don’t have to engage in every conversation.
✨ Name what’s happening – at least to yourself.
✨ Lower the bar.
✨ Choose yourself gently.
And maybe the most important thing: your worth is not defined by how well you fit into your family dynamic.
This Christmas is special for me in many ways.
I feel a real shift in me – not the kind you talk about, but the kind you live. I feel myself coming back to myself. Fully. Honestly. Without apology. I love being myself – all of me. I’m sharing a few more photos from my Christmas photoshoot with Aneta – pictures you haven’t seen yet. I truly hope you’ll love them as much as I do 🤍 They hold this exact energy: presence, softness, truth.
To all of you who are celebrating with joy, and to those who are simply surviving these days – I see you. I respect you. I’m sending you so much love.
Have the most beautiful holiday season, my loves.
XO, Zuzi
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